merry meet at this new moon.
today as we were driving to our nearest small town i felt so at peace with myself and my surroundings. the most amazing feeling.
i think it is really only in this past year or two and starting this blog, where i am able to pour out my ideas and feelings and know they will be understood by all of you who read this regularly...that i have finally been accepting of how my life has turned out and more importantly of who i am. i think it was only really two or three years ago that i stopped 'fighting' and trying to be something i wasn't...not in my beliefs, but in 'me' if that makes sense. i realised how pointless it is living a life for others and not for myself, pointless in having unfounded worries that i may not be wearing the right clothes, right color clothes, having wild hair, listening to the wrong music, eating the wrong food...and the list goes on!
once upon a time, before i discovered 'bust' magazine i would buy assorted womens magazines~why? i would ask myself, when all they really did was try to mould the reader into some high flying business woman with a fantastic income, house and wardrobe. thank the goddess i saw through this shallow brain washing~in a land of famine, wars and the gradual destruction of our planet how could i read such magazines?! why would i even want to read something that meant nothing to me?
so i 'physically' became the person i am today...
so what if occasionally my hair looks like something is nesting in it? its curly, and red and i give up trying to tame it...it copes well on its diet of seaweed shampoo and coconut oil!
so what if my wardrobe is a technicolor dream and i wear waistcoats and dresses over jeans and hiking boots? layering means i can regulate my temperature!
i dont want to buy into that life of consumerist, one-up manship that exists within our society and that does not make me a lesser person because of it.
so yes...a total feeling of peace both within and without came upon me as we drove down lanes edged in hedgerow glowing with berries, ploughed fields with flocks of crows pecking in the furrows, sheep and cows grazing in the hazy sunshine with the hills rising around us like shadows through the haze~i wish you could have been there to enjoy it with me.
Blessed Be
More about these words (and the poems where I found them) at my newsletter:
https://incidentalcomics.substack.com/p/emily-dickinsons-words
1 day ago
3 comments:
Hi Lee, I just replied to your email, sorry I didnt pick it up til this evening.
I too stopped trying to be who others wanted me to be, and since i did i am happier with myself as well.
Leanne x
Ditto:
1. i felt so at peace with myself and my surroundings. the most amazing feeling.
2. i felt so at peace with myself and my surroundings. the most amazing feeling.
3. i realised how pointless it is living a life for others and not for myself, pointless in having unfounded worries that i may not be wearing the right clothes, right color clothes, having wild hair, listening to the wrong music, eating the wrong food...and the list goes on!
i wish you could have been there to enjoy it with me (me too)
I am glad you have got there.
I am still traveling but I hope to get there soon.
It is so comforting to know that it is possible...I'll keep going.
Take care,
Alison xx
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