~solstice blessings~

i was up early this morning

at 5.30 the sky was dark and the stars shining down as the fire was started and flame put to the charcoal in my small cast iron cauldron...

the 'yuletide' incense sent to me by my friend Tilli is gorgeous...

i released my little bundle...

and a waning crescent sat in the sky...

~*~*~*~

~the turning wheel*further~

such a lot has happened in such a short space of time and it is only now in the last few days things have slipped into place within my mind and i am finding peace from the darkness that has been here and finally accepting everything that has happened~it is still hard and each day brings new tears but yes, i am finding peace.

everything that has happened seems,to me,to have happened at significant times.

the sudden loss of our beautiful Cody was at a point of darkness~the waning of the midwinter moon, but at the same time at the turning of the wheel where the darkness,still strong,slowly wanes and welcomes the light.

my path has shown its strength at this time and i feel joy that i saw the darkness and came through it feeling stronger~knowing i came through the darkness means i can face it again one day.

~further~

my word for 2010, which came about from a thread in a forum i belong to~when the thread started i had no thought for a word and it wasn't important to me, but suddenly this week the word came to me. some of you out there may well recognise this wonderful bus and this is where my inspiration came from for my word.

photo by joe mabel

to me 'further' is a reminder to always keep moving forwards and not become stuck in the present or the past

so i shall move further forward in my life and down my chosen path~always with cody tucked deep in my heart

~more random pictures~

its been one of those unproductive days today~i had planned on getting my books out and working on my essay when we came back from our weekly shop, well that didn't happen. i ended up on facebook, adding animals to my farm, harvesting crops and going to market to sell them!
so decided to spend today as a break-day, blogging, visiting blogs and listening to omnia's 'crone of war' album and then i will have a whole day tomorrow to get to work.

i bought some new tea bags today~i have been looking at them on the shelf for a while and as i have finished my box of chai decided to go wild and buy a box of Dr Stuarts tranquillity tea~it is a combination of limeflower,hawthorn berry, yarrow and scullcap. i thought that it would help me with my negative energies and poor sleep and the box does specify no more than four cups per day. i am on cup two, so will have a final cup at bedtime.

this large bee was busy at work on our sweetpeas. i adore bee's, getting up close to see their fuzzy little bodies and loving the way they are working so hard at each flower

my miscellaneous pile of 'stuff' on my desk.
i have certain areas on my desk designated for certain things.
because my present essay is what i would class a 'humdinger'~needing lots of books, piles of notes etc, i have had swampy fit one of the two extra parts to the table.
so i am sitting here at the centre, laptop in front of me of course, my three piles of text books are to the left/middle; my mug on its coaster, the coaster is actually a flowerpot saucer and in it sits a pebble and a tiny Liberty print dog~ is directly to my right and my miscellaneous pile in front of the mug.
the pile comprises of the things i need on a very regular basis~green man tree oracle; a tree in your pocket; combination dictionary and thesaurus; my dad's old 'collins english gem'; my moleskine; omnia dvd (i watch it a lot!); my earth healing clay disc; small pink post-it's. and today, not in the photo, an almost empty pack of york peppermint patties~i fell in love with these many years ago on my first trip to california and so when i was in new york this year i stocked up.
they are yummy!

the green man i have fixed to one of our walls~i painted an old milk churn i 'rescued' a few years ago and set it against my bedroom wall and planted it up with sweetpeas and black-eyed-susan. the black-eyed-susan has finally reached my green man and i just love the way it looks.

last night as planned we went to the high heath just outside the village, to the longslade view bronze age tumulus-so it is a special place indeed- to watch for the Perseids, our friends came with us and as we decided to take cody, they brought his little friend snoop along. we parked up and set up our chairs, had cups of tea and just watched. it was a lovely clear night and we saw quite a few although it was not as spectacular as the tv reports had me imagining it would be.

however we did have this amazing waning moon rise to watch.

as we sat there, two ponies came out of the darkness to eat some of the hay someone was putting down when we arrived. one was a foal and she was totally fearless, coming right up to us, as if wondering what these odd things were sitting there in the dark~she must have noticed cody half under my chair for she bent down and they rubbed noses, before she walked off to join her mum. it was so cute~layton may well have caught it on camera, so i will check.
i got to bed about midnight, but set my alarm and was up in the garden at 3.30 where i stood and saw a few more shooting stars,until it clouded over and i went back to bed.
we were going out again tonight, but it has been cloudy all day and i don't hold out any hope it will clear~but then it might! fingers crossed.

~dark moon arriving~

just as we had the wheel turn at the solstice so we are coming up to a turn in the waning cycle of the moon, we are edging slowly toward the dark moon.

a time to turn our thoughts inwards and build up any depleted energies.
its also a time for meditation and visualisation/pathworking/vision quests~whatever they are known as in your particular path , a time to ask questions and seek answers.

this is good for me as i have been having 'identity' problems with a certain someone in my own journey and its been driving me crazy~really crazy. its occupying my thoughts constantly.
when i started my journey and turned inwards for guidance and inspiration i met my guides, one i came to identify quickly, this other has been elusive to say the least.
so i have been trawling my books and endlessing thinking for hints as to who it may be.
oh i have asked, believe me, the first time i was told i was not ready, then the last time they just smiled at me~i took this to mean i am close and it feels as if i am.
in fact i am sure i am there, but just not ready to name name's to myself as it were, not quite yet.

~of a drifting day~

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars.
walt whitman

i couldnt sleep last night, i had 'the hills of connemara' running through my head, i couldnt even see the waning moon properly as it was so low the hedges were hiding it~i was still awake at dawn and as my bed faces the window was treated to the sight of an apricot colored moon set against the background of a dawn blue sky~by this time i was actually too tired to get my camera, unlock the doors and go out to take a photo, so the one above is a 'net' found one, to give you an idea of what i could see.

but what a sight to greet the day with!

i had planned on doing the research for my next essay today, but first my dad phoned and we had a nice long chat about my studies and our family tree~the conversation turned to portsmouth dockyard and i discovered that he trained there as a coppersmith before becoming a policeman~i dont know why but i never knew that and feel really pleased, he also slipped into the conversation that he had had a 'crisis' and bought another motorbike...he generally does this when he has a 'crisis'!

...then my mum came around to see how the garden was coming along

...then i remembered i had to charge my ipod and update my druidcast

...then i decided to check my garden

...then i decided to blog...

ho hum, how quickly the day passes...so i am now listening to omnia and planning to e-mail my friend carp

*~*good job i am a week ahead with my work*~*

~finally...~

i have been hit with the most amazing feeling of peace and oneness.

with this waning moon i have had time to think and finally let go of all the negative things that have been holding onto me, holding me back.

the last quarter of the waning moon is also known as the 'moon of harvest' a time of meditation and preparation~the cycle you have been in throughout the waning cycle has now culminated and its time for the rebirth with the new moon.

and boy do i feel this building up within me and its been a long time in coming.

i was driving down the lanes the other day, glad to be away from the noise and crowds and litter of dorchester, away even from this country as it is now, today and i was hit even more strongly than ever with the feeling of being so very connected to this land and the ancient tribes that once lived here.

i could feel the vibrations existing beyond the here and now, beyond this crowded land filled with concrete and fumes and rigid box houses and straight lines and i so longed to be away from the here and now.

i feel so frustrated with the land, with the square and the straight, frustrated with the lack of respect and care for our earth, frustrated at people being so far removed from the cycle of the land and life.

of course there will always be those who cannot hear and feel these things, cannot connect with the deeper aspects of life,

but then there are those who can and who celebrate it and i feel so grateful they are out there, to connect with and make bonds with and to keep this great, wonderful weaving whole

to those of you out there that read this

~blessings~