this post by boho mom
led me here
and then here ....
and so inspired this post
here!
i sat here and read these posts and realised how much junk i carry around with me...
how much of a slave i have become to m.e/fibro.
i realise i need to fight it...well maybe not fight it but just not let it get the better of me quite so much. there are days when i really cannot do anything but go with its flow and wait for the worse of it to be over.
but i realise too that when i do have the okay moments i dont make the best of the opportunity of these moments are offering me.
the trouble being is that with these illnesses life becomes a whole round of making bargains with yourself...to do this then you must not do that in order to have the energy to do this...and of course there are the unknown variables, the things that really do come out of nowhere and stops you in your well intentioned tracks.
so while i cannot always fight it then i really must make more of an effort to make the best of the good moments and not waste them.
and what of all the rubbish in my head of past events i cannot change?
oh my there are a whole basket load of those dragging around with me...why on earth do we hold onto things in our past that are not good and happy.
i know its good to learn for the past but to keep it all stored up in the mind and dragging it out to mull over surely cannot be good and healthy.
why oh why do i still go over things that happened 5, 10, 20 years ago?
what is wrong with me?!
there are things i want to do, creatively, but i keep making excuses as to why i cannot...its time to stop doing that...stop making excuses and just do...create...
its not just that for me
its also about the re-discovery of the free spirit i feel i have lost.
oh sometimes its there, fizzing and bubbling away like crazy, like when we are in glastonbury or avebury and then after being at home for a while the excited fizzing just fades away.
well no more...i want my spirit to fizz and bubble away all of the time
yes pixie i know exactly what you mean!
so this yule is the time to finally put all the junk aside, to release all the negativity and focus on the future, the positives.
its time to stop stagnating
are you going to join us?
1 comment:
When I was sat up during the night 3nights ago,as I often do when I cannot sleep,I was thinking along these lines myself.I must have round about 20yrs of things stored that never do me any good what so ever that I just wish could be erased from my memory,but the only person that can do that is me.We all must start next year doing this and get on with all the lovely things that nature gives us.yes Laoi I am with you.Hope you have a wonderful pain free winter time.Love Jill xxx
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