rise and root



The Flame Haired Solstice Dreamer

Cold winter brings the Everfrost and jewels every tree
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
A flame~haired dreamer wanders there and shelters from the wind
And spins her dreams around the trees to break the ties that bind
She takes her thread and spins anew and how the Greenwood smiles
As she spins a spell for freedom and for her spirit Wylde

The dreamer finds an ancient oak and shelters in his lee
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
Tis summer now and birdsong weaves its magick through her spells
And humming bees drum drowsily in the foxglove's bells
The dreamer sits beneath the oak with yarn upon her knee
And spins and knits and weaves her dreams and sets her spirit free

"When birds fall from the sky and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people...shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. they will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow"

Hopi Prophecy

~singing but what the heck!~

oh my

i just knew the elation would not last...

i spoke with the OU today and it appears the whole funding system is being changed by our wonderful government...if you could discern words said through clenched teeth at this point you would know i am doing so!

i have been told that if i stay with my studies from now until i obtain my degree then my funding would remain as it is now...that is to say highly manageable.

however if i take a year or two out i would have to come under the new funding system which means i would have to find a lot of money to continue my studies.
i admit when i found this out i was close to tears and my head is spinning.

i have been out for a walk with swampy and flynt and my it is cold out there today but it cleared my head and helped me think.

i was thinking about why i started my studies in the first place...
because i had never gone to university and felt i had 'missed out', i had the idea of future job prospects linked to my love of history, that having a degree would change things (what things? i do not know)

i was thinking about where i am now and the realities...
given my problems with m.e and fibro would i ever really be able to do what i want with my degree? am i thinking about having a degree in all the wrong way...do i think having one would make me better? would it really improve my life? why do i think having a degree would define me any differently?

things change and maybe i am hanging onto my OU because i am scared of change?

having a degree or not would not change who i am
or what i do
or what i love



Rowan said...

I've never been to University or got a degree either. My two 'A' levels in English (done at nightschool when I was about 20/21) and Classical Studies (done at my children's secondary school to make up the numbers for a 6th form course)have enriched my life but not made any difference jobwise as I've never gone out to work since I married in 1972. If you don't actually need to do the OU degree course and you aren't getting any pleasure from it why carry on? I've led a very full and interesting life without a degree and so can you:) I think you can tell from my blog that I'm neither a cabbage nor boring - you don't need a degree to get the best out of life. Sorry, bit of a lecture there:)

Becky said...

I agree with Rowan, I think that you should follow your heart/gut instinct, whatever you want to call it! Would it be possible for you to save the extra money needed during your break from studies if you decide do so? x

Tina said...

I am sure you don't make this an easy decision but I think you are on the right way.
If one day you feel the need for a change you might find another way that will suit you then!
Hugs, Tina

Kadeeae said...

I think you quite possibly have already made your decision (good on you!) and just finding it difficult to 'cut the cord' so to speak.

As echoed in other comments, you must follow your heart/the voice/spirit as it will never steer you wrong. The right path may not be the easiest but it's always the best.

I hope that you're able to firmly and wholeheartedly make a choice soon so that you able to find a bit of peace :)


Miss Robyn said...

I 100% agree with Rowan! I left school when I was 16 and never went to Uni or received any recognition - it use to worry me alot.. but now pfft.. life experience is more important!!

I don't like change either - at all.. but like a friend said to me.. embrace it and fly with the wind.. be wild woman!!
just imagine how much spare time you will have and truly, your health has not been that good lately.. maybe a sign to give it up?? xoxo love you x

All things share the same breath~the beast, the tree, the man, the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.

Chief Seattle

Johney Gaul~1915

Johney Gaul~1915
1890-17 september 1918~France