rise and root



The Flame Haired Solstice Dreamer

Cold winter brings the Everfrost and jewels every tree
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
A flame~haired dreamer wanders there and shelters from the wind
And spins her dreams around the trees to break the ties that bind
She takes her thread and spins anew and how the Greenwood smiles
As she spins a spell for freedom and for her spirit Wylde

The dreamer finds an ancient oak and shelters in his lee
In a forest new as birth and old as old can be
Tis summer now and birdsong weaves its magick through her spells
And humming bees drum drowsily in the foxglove's bells
The dreamer sits beneath the oak with yarn upon her knee
And spins and knits and weaves her dreams and sets her spirit free

"When birds fall from the sky and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people...shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. they will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow"

Hopi Prophecy

~memories & kurt~

twenty years
has it really been twenty years?
but it only seems like yesterday...
i was living in lymington with my boyfriend simon, in a small flat above a tyre garage accessed by a long, steep, narrow stairway, that had old metal framed windows and was too hot in summer and too cold in winter. our 'garden' was a small paved area just outside the front door and the flat roof of the garage if we opened the narrow french windows in our lounge.
it was actually a seriously funky place made more bohemian by our ideals and lifestyle.
a small portable tv was balanced on an old suitcase (these days it would be called 'vintage' back then it was just old) and the stereo and our tape collection stood on a pine shelving unit, there were plants, pictures and guitars. in the bedroom another small tv sat upon a large amplifier and clothes were piled on another shelving unit. we had a small spare bedroom that we used for storage, the space mostly taken up with a windsurf board, snowboards, washing that needed doing and a huge book collection.
the kitchen still had old (vintage?!) cabinets and had a long window crowded with plants.
 that morning we opened our newspaper and found that Kurt had taken his life. back then this was how we had the news reach us, there were no mobile phones, no instant 24 hour news channels, no internet...we were devastated, could not believe it, if i remember rightly we bought flowers and put them out on a windowsill as a memorial...
i loved living in lymington back then, it was before it became a millionaires playground and we knew most of the people of our own age.
i had moved there a few years before with * into a flat at the top of town...
let me explain lymington, it sits on a steep hill, the 'top' of town literally is the top of the hill and the main high street is on this hill, leading down the the lymington river, the quay and yacht harbour...
...our flat at the top was above an art supplies shop and this flat too was very funky, set on different levels and my bedroom was right up in the attic~a long, low room where the sloping ceiling were my 'walls', with one small window  and accessed by a small flight of stairs that had a small landing at the top where i had rigged up a pole to hang my clothes.
my room was papered in posters and had parts of song lyrics and quotes from deadline written on the spaces between. the room was dominated by my bed which was just a mattress on the floor. fruit crates acted as my bedside table and a stand for my stereo.
next door to us was 'the black cat' pub, our 'local', there are several pubs along the high street and crowds would generally go from one to another during their nights out.
back then the 'drinking culture' was totally different to the one seen on tv these days.
people would go out not to get falling down drunk and fight, it was a very sociable thing, yes we would drink but not get drunk, and just enjoy each others company.
when we moved there we knew no-one but gradually became part of a small group of friends which is how i met simon~a motorbike riding, guitar playing, socialist. he lived at the bottom of town in a big Victorian house with our friends scott, who was incredibly tall and wide and drove a very small fiat 500 and bill, who, despite having  room at the house and his family live only a few doors away, chose to live on the small family boat that was anchored in the harbour and accessed by a small row boat...bill was a funny, but very complex character!
elsewhere in town lived nick, a merchant seaman, and brothers adam and jake.
i look back on my lymington days with great fondness, although grown and leading 'grown up' lives with jobs, i can only remember all the fun we had. fun that didn't mean getting falling down drunk , taking drugs or getting into fights...one night we all made our way to the flat after an evening out only to have bill appear stark naked apart from an advertising flag from a building site wrapped around him and a traffic cone clutched in his arms...sailing out to the isle of wight in bills boat, anchoring just off shore at alum bay, swimming to shore and walking up to the needles old battery, impromptu trips to Glastonbury in our old mini.
in the years before moving to lymington were the years i spent travelling around the county seeing live bands, i would go to these events weekly, seeing mostly local bands or small bands that never really made the charts here~the cropdusters, the levellers, mega city 4, the judacutters. this was also the time i started going to festivals, namely the reading festival where i had seen Nirvana play in 1991 and '92.
such good memories to have
it seems i have been living a lot in the past since the loss of cecil.
actually i do live in the past a lot these days
some days i find myself frustrated with my life and wish i could turn the clock back...


Jopan said...

I know how you feel about living in the past. I think we're all guilty of it sometimes. I liked your story and I thank you for sharing it. It sounds like you had a very exciting time. I was too young to remember Kurt cobains death but I love his music and dwell on why he killed himself often. He and Jeff Buckley, both very talented artists and I often wonder how their sound would have evolved if they still lived.

Miss Robyn said...

ahh beautiful Lee... living in the past, reminiscing ... remembering.. all part of the grieving process.. all part of getting older. Your life sounds wonderful - then and now.. you have a quirky, artistic way about you - I love it! xoxo

Crispibits said...

Blimey, thanks for writing this - just had a massive nostalgia trip! I just stumbled on your blog having Googled 'Judacutters'. 20 (or more) years ago I was also following them around, to the extent that I shared a house with Graham Woods the bass player in Totton, used to drink at the Village Bells and had various friends around the Forest, including down in Lymington (Marnie?). Our house was in a similar 'vintage' style, with all kinds of repurposing going on, mainly from need rather than aesthetics. The bands all seemed to rotate around each others' gigs, swapping support/main slots and it seemed very friendly, if not a little incestuous! It did seem a very free and relaxed time - I feel sorry for the young of today seeming to go straight from children to consumerised adults without the opportunity (or will) to try something different.

laoi gaul~williams said...

well hello Crispibits~i am sure our paths unknowingly crossed many times during those years...i bet you used to frequent the joiners arms a lot~did you ever see the Whiskey Priests at the Eastpoint?. i think i was the only person in the area wearing Walkleys clogs a la new model army!

Crispibits said...

Hehe, I bet our paths did cross every now and then. The Joiners and Crown & Sceptre were definitely visited a lot in those days - I don't remember going the Eastpoint, and I'm afraid I don't recall The Whiskey Priests - I may have seen them, but we've all passed a lot of water under the bridge since then(!) I saw the Levellers play at the Polygon Club, and Mega City 4 (and their van) at Southampton Uni, amongst others in other places (Black Couch, Daisy Chainsaw, Flatville Aces etc). Oh, and just remembered seeing Daevid Allan play at the Flying Teapot Cafe. There was a very vibrant music scene going on then, everyone seemed to be either in a band or attached to one - I do hope that still happens.

laoi gaul~williams said...

Crispibits my friend Lenny broke his arm stage diving at one of Mega City 4's gigs and it was either at the uni or the Eastpoint...thinking about it not the Eastpoint as i remember it was in quite a small hall...oh the Flatville Aces! The whiskey Priests usually supported the cropdusters.
Did you ever go to any of the cropdusters 'hoe down's' in the field in lymington? they were a real experience :)

Crispibits said...

Something rings a bell about someone breaking their arm at an MC4 gig at the Uni. I think they were supporting Hawkwind or something equally weird!
Although the Cropdusters were really big in Southampton & the Forest, I can only remember seeing them once, at the Rank (aptly named). Funnily enough I think I found them too pushy and shovey for my liking, whereas the Judacutters were far more about the actual jigging/dancing. Seems strange considering I also liked a good mosh in those days! I must say I didn't venture to Lymington for gigs - I went to Brock College to see various friends playing there, but can't recall heading any further south. I do sometimes wonder how much I actually remember, and how much I think I remember because of other people talking about it so much! I always thought I saw Carter USM at Salisbury Arts Centre, but can't actually remember anything they played...

All things share the same breath~the beast, the tree, the man, the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.

Chief Seattle

Johney Gaul~1915

Johney Gaul~1915
1890-17 september 1918~France