~lazing~

Calvin and Hobbes

i find myself 'home alone' today as swampy is out logging and will be out all day, except for a brief break for food at midday~and i feel so adrift.

there are things i promised myself i would do while i was alone, but so far i have just been listening to music~although this is a treat as i am listening to 'my' music LOUD~without headphones!

i stress 'my' as swampy and i have very differing tastes in music and my 'rowdy' music is more along the lines indie/punk rather than swampys rock, which to me is a dreadful noise.

so actually its a joy to listen to my music in freedom and loud!

i am still struggling~really struggling with this free time i have~i really cant get my head around not feeling guilty for blogging and browsing the net with abandon~feel being lazy!

i find myself really looking forward to september when i can stock up on paper and pens and files and start my reading and note taking~now there is something i never thought i would say when was a grumpy, school hating 15 year old!

i was over at my mum's in the new forest yesterday~i think me and sam spent the entire time discussing our mini-cruise, even down to what we would do on our first few hours on board!

oh and of course we have our wimbledon trip coming up in just over a month so we had some planning to do~namely drinking pimm's and eating strawberries on 'henman hill' (although i much prefer the real name of aorangi park~Maori for ‘cloud in the sky') before our match begins.

we are off camping again at the end of the week, only an hour from us near yeovil~its the vw clubs agm~so swampy will be busy. i have nothing to do with the club at all, i just enjoy being out in pippin, out from the four walled living i hate so much. of course our friend sean will be there and he is collecting swampy's daughter lousie from birmingham on his way down to join us~so i will be in step-mom mode...sort of...

its an odd concept for me to have a young (to me 19 is young) person around who classes me as that~well to use her words when she camped with us last year and was speaking to a friend who sells enamel~ 'that mad woman in the blue van' (she wanted to buy me a piece of enamel and didnt know what to choose~i got a lovely old blue oval pie dish!)

anyway...i have never wanted children and to be honest actively avoid them~funnily enough i loved being a youth worker~so to now hold the post as step-mom is weird, but cool i guess~i hope i can influence her in a positive way that her real mom never did...swmapy and i think its working as last time we saw her she started to put her hair in plaits like mine... i dont know if thats good or bad!