~this is my life~

today started as a grey, dull day and this was the view from my bedroom.

now I am sitting at my kitchen window and the sun is breaking through the clouds.

I have not blogged for so long and I have been feeling the pull to write down my thoughts again, become an active part of old school blogging again.

*later*

its a few days later but I am still sitting at my kitchen window, looking out at the blue, blue sky and the higgidy-piggidy roof tops 

I love this view so much...

so I hear you ask, what's been happening since my last post?

so much and more

I am loving my home on the cobbles so much, to have become a cobble dweller is the best feeling. being part of the little community of dwellers here on the old town quay is a truly special feeling and it feels like home. I now have my old Paris-dwelling bicycle Evangeline here with me and we journey together around Lymington when I don't need my car...

*later*

here I am again, sitting at my little table, again with blue sky outside my window.

we had a big storm cross the Channel that hit us in the early hours of the night before last. I spent the time leaning out of my little bedroom window watching the lightning above the old roof tops, was oh so tired yesterday then had a migraine start. So today I am a little fragile , so taking it slow, not rushing.

so where was I?

yes...this is my life...

I realised the other day that it is nearly a year since I put the wheels in motion to change my life.

a year

my past life seems like 'forever ago'

the person I am, the life I am living bares no resemblance to my previous life.

it has been hard, from the moment I made the decision to end my relationship I knew it was all going to be hard, upsetting, stressful...

and it has been...very, very, very.

But you know what?

I have no regrets.

but it also slowly improved.

and so I have my life, my new life.

and its my life...every day I make my own choices, decisions. 

My home and my life is just that...mine.

I choose how to decorate, where to place my furniture, how to have the books on my bookcase, what to have on the bed, I have no tv, I can listen to Classic FM radio all day, everyday if I wish. I can even buy clothes! I know to some of you that all just sounds crazy...but to buy clothes...when you don't have control of your money, when I have always been told there is no money for anything, to be able to take myself into Southampton, sit in a café with a chai latte and cake, or buy myself lunch and then actually buy a couple of items of clothing...its new and amazing!

on nice evenings I sit in my courtyard

as darkness falls my solar lights come on and I light candles, I watch the last flights of the resident swifts, hear the last calls of the sea gulls and see the bats come alive. I hear the people pass by along the cobbles, their voices drifting up through the narrow, flag-stone alley, with its locked iron gate keeping out curious people. Sometimes I hear live music coming from the wine bar in the Old Customs House opposite or loud voices and laughter drifting down the hill from the Kings Head...a pub I used to visit weekly with my friends 20 years ago.

Every night my neighbours appear on their balconies and we chat or I just listen to their conversations, sometimes being drawn into the chat and laughter. Arthur the cat will appear for a quick chat before his sits on the high wall above me or a will vanish down the alley and disappear down the cobbles. Then as the nights gets darker I will bring myself in, make a cup of tea and take myself up the steep, narrow stairs that are hidden behind a little door, to my bedroom up in the roof...

The Cobbles have become my heart and soul...but there is another