*connections & lost threads- a new community*

so i have been self isolating for a seven days now

i work as a community support worker with vulnerable adults-until a month ago i was permanent but as i am in the final year of my degree and wanted to gain more control over my days i became a relief worker and signed up to a second job under the same umbrella.

then covid 19 hit the UK and following government guidelines took to self isolation last monday.

which of course means no income

luckily, for now,  i have the money to keep a roof over my head and pay my bills and even luckier to have my North Star tell me daily not to worry, i know there are many out there who do not have these words to give them solace and so i know i am really, really lucky.

talking with my sister, i was made aware of areas in desperate need of staff, working from home and so as soon as she knows whats happening  i will hopefully have a trickle of income coming in-again i give thanks for what the universe may bring me.

this all means i have time, a lot of free time...

i don't spend all day on my university work, i think my brain would explode if i did. 

so i find myself trying to keep to some kind of routine to my day...

i study for 3-4 hours, maybe 5 now i have an assignment to do

i potter in my garden-growing my herbs, wild flowers and vegetables

yesterday i tung oiled one of my Adirondack rockers

i actually read again-while juggling work and study i actually stopped reading. now i find i have time again and find myself adding books to my kindle, or pull books of my shelves

i also just sit-i sit in the garden and watch the birds and think...i let my mind wander where it wishes as i drink cups of tea, a blanket over my knees if the wind gets chilly

and i grieve for my sweet Arthur-i think at the moment i have had maybe three days where i have not cried. but the tears come too easily and i miss him so very much. during the week when we had the cottage to ourselves he would always sleep on the bed at night, taking up much of the room and i feel badly that on his final night in the cottage he slept alone on the sofa as my NS was here...

of course being here alone makes me think of all the others who are alone and it made me think of the blogging community that existed years ago. by years ago i am talking of  13 years ago. 

my first blogger post was 27/06/2007 (which is freaking me out right about now because that was my NS 44th birthday) and blogging really was old school then and it really was a close community. we all sat typing away, opening our lives and hearts, we visited each other, supported each other and i think brought with us all a sense of belonging.

then it slowly changed, people stopped blogging, facebook happened and with the growth in mobile phones and the huge capacity they held things became instant.

now i feel change is in the air, or could be in the air and i feel the pull of grass roots, old school blogging

i think this virus will...no, i feel this virus is going to change things. i just feel that society will change and i hope for the better. we are being made to re-assess our lives, our world, the resources available. of course there are selfish, mean people who walk this world and there always will be but i hope that the lesson this virus will teach us will be one of increasing compassion, community and love. that we can start to take things a little more slowly, open our hearts and minds again and fill spaces of the internet with all the good things blogging can bring.

so are you reading this?

do you feel like un-earthing the past?

do you want to help re-build our old blogging community?

~this is my life~

today started as a grey, dull day and this was the view from my bedroom.

now I am sitting at my kitchen window and the sun is breaking through the clouds.

I have not blogged for so long and I have been feeling the pull to write down my thoughts again, become an active part of old school blogging again.

*later*

its a few days later but I am still sitting at my kitchen window, looking out at the blue, blue sky and the higgidy-piggidy roof tops 

I love this view so much...

so I hear you ask, what's been happening since my last post?

so much and more

I am loving my home on the cobbles so much, to have become a cobble dweller is the best feeling. being part of the little community of dwellers here on the old town quay is a truly special feeling and it feels like home. I now have my old Paris-dwelling bicycle Evangeline here with me and we journey together around Lymington when I don't need my car...

*later*

here I am again, sitting at my little table, again with blue sky outside my window.

we had a big storm cross the Channel that hit us in the early hours of the night before last. I spent the time leaning out of my little bedroom window watching the lightning above the old roof tops, was oh so tired yesterday then had a migraine start. So today I am a little fragile , so taking it slow, not rushing.

so where was I?

yes...this is my life...

I realised the other day that it is nearly a year since I put the wheels in motion to change my life.

a year

my past life seems like 'forever ago'

the person I am, the life I am living bares no resemblance to my previous life.

it has been hard, from the moment I made the decision to end my relationship I knew it was all going to be hard, upsetting, stressful...

and it has been...very, very, very.

But you know what?

I have no regrets.

but it also slowly improved.

and so I have my life, my new life.

and its my life...every day I make my own choices, decisions. 

My home and my life is just that...mine.

I choose how to decorate, where to place my furniture, how to have the books on my bookcase, what to have on the bed, I have no tv, I can listen to Classic FM radio all day, everyday if I wish. I can even buy clothes! I know to some of you that all just sounds crazy...but to buy clothes...when you don't have control of your money, when I have always been told there is no money for anything, to be able to take myself into Southampton, sit in a café with a chai latte and cake, or buy myself lunch and then actually buy a couple of items of clothing...its new and amazing!

on nice evenings I sit in my courtyard

as darkness falls my solar lights come on and I light candles, I watch the last flights of the resident swifts, hear the last calls of the sea gulls and see the bats come alive. I hear the people pass by along the cobbles, their voices drifting up through the narrow, flag-stone alley, with its locked iron gate keeping out curious people. Sometimes I hear live music coming from the wine bar in the Old Customs House opposite or loud voices and laughter drifting down the hill from the Kings Head...a pub I used to visit weekly with my friends 20 years ago.

Every night my neighbours appear on their balconies and we chat or I just listen to their conversations, sometimes being drawn into the chat and laughter. Arthur the cat will appear for a quick chat before his sits on the high wall above me or a will vanish down the alley and disappear down the cobbles. Then as the nights gets darker I will bring myself in, make a cup of tea and take myself up the steep, narrow stairs that are hidden behind a little door, to my bedroom up in the roof...

The Cobbles have become my heart and soul...but there is another