*lock down-week three-morons ahoy*

well today is week three of the national lock down and week three of my 12 (i have diabetes and so running no risks whatsoever) weeks social distancing.

despite the daily toll of lives lost there are still utter morons who continue to treat this time as some kind of extended holiday and going to parks etc to enjoy themselves, sunbathe and not observe the appropriate social distancing.

and as for the lycra clad cyclists...don't get me started. 

While there are restrictions on how far we can actually go to have our one form of exercise a day these idiots seem to treat the forest as their personal Tour De France. 

I had to go and pick up my shopping last week and involved a longish drive through the back roads of the forest and i passed maybe four cars.

cyclists however where ten a penny and given the remoteness of the forest i drive through were nowhere near their homes. 

they seem to think its acceptable to come out and do multiple miles through the forest and one of them, on an open, deserted part of the forest...hearing the one car driving up behind them...steered themselves into the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and sat there...for the first time in my life i beeped my little horn, urging them out of the way.

i think i can safely say that being stuck in is starting to take its toll on me a little...only a little because as a natural self-isolater i am quite happy not going out. but at the same time...if i wanted to go out its not an option unless i go the the village shop/post office/butcher where only three people are allowed in and in  the few minute walk there the chance of actually passing one person is virtually impossible... 

*connections & lost threads- a new community*

so i have been self isolating for a seven days now

i work as a community support worker with vulnerable adults-until a month ago i was permanent but as i am in the final year of my degree and wanted to gain more control over my days i became a relief worker and signed up to a second job under the same umbrella.

then covid 19 hit the UK and following government guidelines took to self isolation last monday.

which of course means no income

luckily, for now,  i have the money to keep a roof over my head and pay my bills and even luckier to have my North Star tell me daily not to worry, i know there are many out there who do not have these words to give them solace and so i know i am really, really lucky.

talking with my sister, i was made aware of areas in desperate need of staff, working from home and so as soon as she knows whats happening  i will hopefully have a trickle of income coming in-again i give thanks for what the universe may bring me.

this all means i have time, a lot of free time...

i don't spend all day on my university work, i think my brain would explode if i did. 

so i find myself trying to keep to some kind of routine to my day...

i study for 3-4 hours, maybe 5 now i have an assignment to do

i potter in my garden-growing my herbs, wild flowers and vegetables

yesterday i tung oiled one of my Adirondack rockers

i actually read again-while juggling work and study i actually stopped reading. now i find i have time again and find myself adding books to my kindle, or pull books of my shelves

i also just sit-i sit in the garden and watch the birds and think...i let my mind wander where it wishes as i drink cups of tea, a blanket over my knees if the wind gets chilly

and i grieve for my sweet Arthur-i think at the moment i have had maybe three days where i have not cried. but the tears come too easily and i miss him so very much. during the week when we had the cottage to ourselves he would always sleep on the bed at night, taking up much of the room and i feel badly that on his final night in the cottage he slept alone on the sofa as my NS was here...

of course being here alone makes me think of all the others who are alone and it made me think of the blogging community that existed years ago. by years ago i am talking of  13 years ago. 

my first blogger post was 27/06/2007 (which is freaking me out right about now because that was my NS 44th birthday) and blogging really was old school then and it really was a close community. we all sat typing away, opening our lives and hearts, we visited each other, supported each other and i think brought with us all a sense of belonging.

then it slowly changed, people stopped blogging, facebook happened and with the growth in mobile phones and the huge capacity they held things became instant.

now i feel change is in the air, or could be in the air and i feel the pull of grass roots, old school blogging

i think this virus will...no, i feel this virus is going to change things. i just feel that society will change and i hope for the better. we are being made to re-assess our lives, our world, the resources available. of course there are selfish, mean people who walk this world and there always will be but i hope that the lesson this virus will teach us will be one of increasing compassion, community and love. that we can start to take things a little more slowly, open our hearts and minds again and fill spaces of the internet with all the good things blogging can bring.

so are you reading this?

do you feel like un-earthing the past?

do you want to help re-build our old blogging community?

*covid 19-lockdown*

back in the early 80's i was a youth member of CND and marched in london in 1983 in its largest ever march and spent quite a few years before the fall of the Berlin wall absolutely terrified of nuclear war.

now its a new form of terror and one that i thought i would never see in my lifetime

only a month ago, despite knowing of this virus, i was going about my daily life-my little part time job, undergoing the lengthy process of getting a second enhanced disclosure for a second job, doing my university work and enjoying weekends with my North Star.

now i have been in lock down for seven days, the first seven days of what i initially thought was 12 weeks social distancing because i have diabetes, m.e and fibromyalgia but now seeing the news i think this UK lock down will last longer. 

life has suddenly taken on a surreal hue

my North Star being a class 1 HGV driver is considered an key person as he will be driving medical supplies/ food and other essentials around the country and so yesterday found him taking a container of medical supplies into Devon and as i type he is driving back to southampton docks for his next container.

my sister brings me shopping when i need it-driving over from the village to where she and my mum lives five miles away, dropping it in my drive and having a chat at a safe distance.

my life, our lives are now full of fear and uncertainty...