i am starting to feel so exhausted right now~not just tired but the same bone deep weariness i had when i was first diagnosed with m.e... and cold, really cold...
right now i am sitting on the sofa, in my pyjamas, wrapped in my brown wool poncho and a sarong i have always used as a scarf~its size means it is big and comforting~i have a cup of 'tranquility' tea on my little side table.
~***~
i am really feeling this period between samhuinn and the coming solstice
things are getting darker and darker
the oak has finally lost almost all its leaves~i can now sit and look at it and see the birds sitting in the branches~a few weeks ago they would still be vanishing into the green.
i feel dark in the way the world is heading towards its darkest before the returning light
i am slowing as the world slows to its brief stop at the solstice~but i am enjoying the slowness and dark and not feeling caught up in the usual pre-christmas rush. living in a small village that is some miles distant from its nearest surrounding villages we are buffered against the consumerism found in towns and cities so a serenity surrounds me like a warm ,wool blanket...
this darkness is not one to be afraid of, its one to be embraced and explored~like with the inner journeys we may make to meet with our ancestors and deities
4 comments:
I understand where you are at with this Autumn... I wish I could slow down more but after all that time off it just isn't possible. I really hope that with the turning tide your vigour returns.
Just wanted to drop you a line to tell you how much I enjoy your blog. I don't suffer with M.E. but I do suffer with Fibro, and am glad that finally doctor's are beginning to recognize our illnesses as legitimate...and not something made up in our minds. I am sorry you're feeling down right now. I also love your idea of a blog searching for family. As a genealogist, that is a great idea. My ancestry is from some small towns in Norfolk, England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales as well as Germany.
You are doing the right thing at least,by listening to your body and taking things slowly and resting. I hope your essay is done and that you can ease up from your studying for a little while. Take care.
I'm feeling the exhaustion too. I had ME for over 6 years and I still get days of complete tiredness. I'm putting mine down to grim rainy days and restless nights. I am looking forward to seeing the colourful christmas decorations and passing the solstice when the days will begin to get lighter again.
Shirl x
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