*recycling myself*

i think this virus has us all in a tail-spin.

can we?

cant we?

should we?

i am lucky, I have been staying at home for the majority of the time and its only in the last few weeks that i have started to go out and get my shopping, was able to get my overdue eye test done last week and even stopped by a book shot to treat myself to a new notebook.

but its still all different-i nearly cried while i was standing outside the opticians-we no longer have the freedom of movement, to walk in and out of shops as we please, we have to become accustomed to queuing to get into shops, to remember not to get too close to people...its a whole new world, but not a brave new world.

***

i have also been restless and feeling very discontent with my cottage. 

No, not my cottage, but by my own listlessness. 

While i was in the last year of my degree my whole time was consumed by putting as much work as possible into my work, to get the grades needed to do my MA. As a result i still have boxes that have not been unpacked from February 2019, stacked up in hidden places and little bits of 'junk' that i tell myself i am keeping for 'sentimental' reasons. These things are just sitting in boxes, not put out on display, but tucked away, hidden...gathering dust.

For the past two weeks i have been thinking about having a good de-clutter and now  am physically registered for my MA  suddenly realised that i have three months to get my home in order-to clear out the clutter. i realise the clutter makes it hard for me to dust and keep the place tidy-i don't want total minimalism, just to have things easy to keep tidy and fresh.

And this then made me realise i need to give my life a good haul over the coals-lock down has made me lazy...not so much lazy as listless, my eating habits have become shocking, weight has been piling on, i feel dreadfully tired and my soul journey has halted. Its as if i am just surviving, no longer living and breathing-i have become a hermit. To the extent i no longer even sit in my garden-using the excuse that Cookie will feel neglected if i go and sit outside.

so yesterday i started to de-clutter.

i made a start in the bedroom, sorting out my old university books, making room for them on one of the bookshelves in my bedroom, cleared off the top of the chest of drawers and re-arranged one corner of the room to make it easier to hoover and clean.

then i hit the kitchen

i have a long kitchen built up into the roof of the original one up-one down groom's cottage laid with long, old oak boards. what i call the non-kitchen end has two small windows, each set with six panes of slightly wavy old glass. this is going to be turned into my study area for the duration of my MA. i have set up my printer on the top of an old chest of drawers and at the weekend will be setting up a bookcase to divide my study area from the kitchen.

i cleared and organised three of my kitchen cupboards, took things down and washed them, re-arranged some things and cleared all my work surfaces (i am dreadful for cluttering)

tomorrow it will be the dreaded cupboard and under the bed in the bedroom

and i will be ruthless.

clothes that have not been worn in the last year will be bagged up for a time when they can go to a charity shop or recycling. i have promised myself not to overthink it either-it all has to go or actually be used by me.

this morning i went to the kitchen to make a mug of tea and found peace as i saw how clear and tidy it was

and it is that feeling i want to experience every moment, throughout my home...