*hive mind*

instagram

don't you love instagram?

💙i know i am shouting but i just adore it 💙

it was a whole lot better than bf (before facebook) but still better than fb

for my sins i am still on fb because its the only place where i can keep in touch with my friends who are spread across the country and those closest to me are towards swindon.

instagram has my heart the way pinterest once had

until the insidious creep of adverts and suggestions for pictures based on my likes. i cant even remember the last time i went on my pinterest  (saying that i will probably slink over and have a peek after this!)

there is little politics and much love and so many hive minds that it feels like my safe space and a place of utter joy-people sharing snippets of their lives, passing on ideas and support in a myriad of little ways. 

anyway, what i am getting at is how i seem to have touched a nerve with people in my last couple of ig posts about how i have been feeling change-positive change coming over me.

i have been feeling it for a couple of weeks, just a need for personal change-in myself and in my environment. i have spent the last year focusing so hard on the end of my degree and before lock down i was also working part time. my life was nothing but study, work and crashing into bed to fend off my m.e and fibromyalgia. 

i was effectively juggling 

lock down gave me time to think, assess and re-think and from comments on ig it seems it has done the same to many friends...i may not have met you in person, some of you i have known since the earliest days of blogging, and here we still are, communicating our lives over our screens, sharing our snippets...yes you are my tribe...

so we are now, as lock down is easing, making an assessment of our surroundings, our lives and you know what? i think it is going to bring us untold joy.

i started by starting a big de-clutter of my cottage, things i have never un-packed in two house moves in two years will be going. if i haven't missed it by now i don't think i ever will, i am going to keep surfaces clear, under the bed clear and easy to hoover...although i will need to buy cookie a little bed for under the bed as he still likes to sleep under there, old clothes will be gone...just stuff...gone!

i can almost feel the freedom like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

while the clutter is slowly going i have been thinking more about my life in general-

who i once was and who i have become.

long gone is the person tied into a gaslight relationship

its taken me four years to reach the point i am now.

i feel so free

i have my cottage, 

i have my North Star,

 i have my little Cookie 

and now i feel on the cusp of a whole new life. 

i feel that once the clutter is cleared then the door is wide open for the next stage in my life.

last week i bought a new set of oracle cards, ones i have seen being used by friends on ig, then two friends on fb posted about them and it felt like a sign...buy them!

i have to say they are beautiful and something seems right about them

last night my mind was full of what seemed like everything, i wasn't in the right frame of mind to do a proper reading, but still wanted to start working gently with them. so did some mindful breathing and picked one card...

this...

it says it all really doesn't it?!

*recycling myself*

i think this virus has us all in a tail-spin.

can we?

cant we?

should we?

i am lucky, I have been staying at home for the majority of the time and its only in the last few weeks that i have started to go out and get my shopping, was able to get my overdue eye test done last week and even stopped by a book shot to treat myself to a new notebook.

but its still all different-i nearly cried while i was standing outside the opticians-we no longer have the freedom of movement, to walk in and out of shops as we please, we have to become accustomed to queuing to get into shops, to remember not to get too close to people...its a whole new world, but not a brave new world.

***

i have also been restless and feeling very discontent with my cottage. 

No, not my cottage, but by my own listlessness. 

While i was in the last year of my degree my whole time was consumed by putting as much work as possible into my work, to get the grades needed to do my MA. As a result i still have boxes that have not been unpacked from February 2019, stacked up in hidden places and little bits of 'junk' that i tell myself i am keeping for 'sentimental' reasons. These things are just sitting in boxes, not put out on display, but tucked away, hidden...gathering dust.

For the past two weeks i have been thinking about having a good de-clutter and now  am physically registered for my MA  suddenly realised that i have three months to get my home in order-to clear out the clutter. i realise the clutter makes it hard for me to dust and keep the place tidy-i don't want total minimalism, just to have things easy to keep tidy and fresh.

And this then made me realise i need to give my life a good haul over the coals-lock down has made me lazy...not so much lazy as listless, my eating habits have become shocking, weight has been piling on, i feel dreadfully tired and my soul journey has halted. Its as if i am just surviving, no longer living and breathing-i have become a hermit. To the extent i no longer even sit in my garden-using the excuse that Cookie will feel neglected if i go and sit outside.

so yesterday i started to de-clutter.

i made a start in the bedroom, sorting out my old university books, making room for them on one of the bookshelves in my bedroom, cleared off the top of the chest of drawers and re-arranged one corner of the room to make it easier to hoover and clean.

then i hit the kitchen

i have a long kitchen built up into the roof of the original one up-one down groom's cottage laid with long, old oak boards. what i call the non-kitchen end has two small windows, each set with six panes of slightly wavy old glass. this is going to be turned into my study area for the duration of my MA. i have set up my printer on the top of an old chest of drawers and at the weekend will be setting up a bookcase to divide my study area from the kitchen.

i cleared and organised three of my kitchen cupboards, took things down and washed them, re-arranged some things and cleared all my work surfaces (i am dreadful for cluttering)

tomorrow it will be the dreaded cupboard and under the bed in the bedroom

and i will be ruthless.

clothes that have not been worn in the last year will be bagged up for a time when they can go to a charity shop or recycling. i have promised myself not to overthink it either-it all has to go or actually be used by me.

this morning i went to the kitchen to make a mug of tea and found peace as i saw how clear and tidy it was

and it is that feeling i want to experience every moment, throughout my home...

~st jude~

 

st jude~the patron saint of depression and lost causes is the name of the storm that is due to hit the wales and the south over the coming hours.

we are expecting gale force winds and heavy rain, we have had it very breezy for 24 hours but it is slowly getting worse. we live only five miles from the solent and so right in the path of the strongest of the winds that are predicted.

 

so we have, as the link suggests, battened down the hatches, will wait it out and we have plenty of candles in case of a power cut.

i have taken the opportunity to hang some washing out and i don't think it will take long to dry!

 

***

 

we have had a busy week here in the forest~swampy sorted out some shelves for my mum so i took my laptop and was able to add more to my family tree with mums help, i now need to take my scanner to scan a few photos, one of my great granny gaul and great granddad Hawkins which i am really excited about.

 

we have also been sorting our little home in the run up to yule~we were unable to go to Glastonbury to the witches market and fairy ball as we usually do so the money went on buying a new armchair and a cabinet with shelves.

i finally talked swampy into moving our living room around and we now have much more floor space which means we now are able to have a small dining table and chairs at one end of the room...no longer balancing plates on laps. i know it sounds very mundane but to me it feels like we have really settled into our house.

 

***

 

well the wind has increased, the rain started, washing brought in...those of you in the path of st jude stay safe and warm



~clothes~

 

there seems to be a global de-clutter going on right now, so many people i know and through blogging are clearing out their homes and minds following the autumn equinox.

 

millas post made me think about clothes and the clothes i took to the 'tip' (not as rubbish i hasten to add but they have an area set aside to sell on good clothes).

 

i have in the past been an utter fiend for buying clothes...buy, buy buy...then mostly i would wear them for a few months and then they would languish in the wardrobe or my drawers.

 

when we went off in pretty pagan for our trip to the rollrights and then busfest i took loads of clothes with me...reasoning i would need them all.

but i didn't!

 

then when i started to de-clutter i had a long hard look at what i wore, where i bought it, why i bought it and realised i didn't need most of what i had...i really didn't.

 

so i sorted through it all and put aside the things that had not been worn and there was a lot...in fact there is actually still a bit more to go.

 

but then i started to think hard about my clothes and vowed to now only buy things that are good quality and that will wash well and last.

i have a dress i bought two years ago-i think it cost around $50, which is not cheap and cheerful nor hideously expensive.

it is one of the few things that i wear and wear, usually teamed up with leggings or trousers...

 

 

 

not a great picture i am afraid-it is covered in tiny brown/cream flowers and the bottom is a kind of ragged, waterfall design.

 

the one i was wearing the other day with my boots is this one...

 

 

again not cheap but well made and will last

 

then there is this...

 

 

well made and designed to last.

 

the delight of the bottom two are that they are made of a good 'crinkle' cotton so i do not have to worry about ironing!

 

i now have two pairs of leggings, a few pairs of tights and two pairs of trousers to team them up with and a couple of skirts, as well as two men's waistcoats (one is a vintage wool one...just gorgeous!), two long cardigans and one long fleece top with pixie hood.

coat wise i have one long needle cord and one dark brown velvet-both a sort of Edwardian style and one short dark brown corduroy one.

 

and that i think is enough...

enough to mix and match and last.

 

what i love about the clothes i have left is that i feel comfortable in them, i feel like 'me' in them, i don't feel like i am dressing up to project an image...i am just me.

 

looking at my clothes i notice i have a particular colour scheme...

 

browns

greens

oranges

blacks

reds

 

i wonder what that says about me?!