first things first
wild magnolia
blogger ate your comment so can you please e-mail me?!
thank you :)
***
i am smiling today because i woke up with this bout of bruxus almost gone...its such a lovely feeling to have...even though i have so many painkillers still in my bloodstream...the bonus being i can type this post without as much pain in my hands!
i am also feeling all excited as i have just registered for jani francks
eCourse
this leads me nicely into what i have been trying to write for days now, to explain this
buzz
i have been feeling.
to be honest i am not sure where it came from, its something that has been brewing for a couple of weeks.
i have been thinking how i need to organise my life in some way.
not in a horrid 'office' kind of structure but in a more organic way that means i can fit in all the things i want to do around the constraints of my 'ailments'.
i also want my life to have more meaning~for so long i have let said 'ailments' rule my life, i have drifted with small bursts of trying to take my life back and it has never lasted.
but now i have decided i need to
reclaim 'me'
and what i do while accepting i have long term chronic conditions that wont just go away with pain killers or doing nothing.
so i am going to do but more mindfully.
i am also going to set myself goals...my main goal is to eventually become my own source of income which would give me all kinds of freedom.
i know it will be hard going but seeing how many other folk gain so much joy from it despite hardships i feel it would be more worthwhile.
i don't particularly want millions or a mansion or fancy clothes (as if!) i just want enough to help with the bills etc and to buy more crafting materials to continue making my jewellery,bundles etc.
i think i am too much like my dad...
he, as most of you know, is an artist and model maker, and has always had this streak of the independent, a 'wunderlust' (my word that descibes a restlessness within the soul) within him that kept him restless and finally became such that he had to step away from the mainstream 9-5 to follow his dream.
that is me, it really is.
even if i had the health to do so, i could never return to the 9-5
i could never conform to an organisation that would insist that i could not be me, to remove my nose ring, hide my tattoo's, dress in a conservative way...
i am getting the jitters just thinking about it.
so my head is finally in a good place...
my head has returned to accepting that what i put into my body reflects what is on the outside resulting in a large amount of veggies bought for eating and juicing
to resume my yoga...even if i only do a ten minute session a day as i have read it is very good for fibro even during a flare up.
to set time aside for 'most things' each day~to spend time 'working' at the wylde apothecary
to stop drifting in my spiritual journey
to enjoy my life and stop stressing about the things i cannot change but go with the flow~to trust in the universe that things will fall into place.
today is the first day...
so
deep breath
and
plunge
