~deep breath & plunge~

 

first things first

 

wild magnolia

blogger ate your comment so can you please e-mail me?!

wyldeapothecary@sky.com

 

thank you :)

 

***

 

i am smiling today because i woke up with this bout of bruxus almost gone...its such a lovely feeling to have...even though i have so many painkillers still in my bloodstream...the bonus being i can type this post without as much pain in my hands!

 

i am also feeling all excited as i have just registered for jani francks

 

creative journaling

 

eCourse

 

this leads me nicely into what i have been trying to write for days now, to explain this

buzz

i have been feeling.

 

 

to be honest i am not sure where it came from, its something that has been brewing for a couple of weeks.

 

i have been thinking how i need to organise my life in some way.

not in a horrid 'office' kind of structure but in a more organic way that means i can fit in all the things i want to do around the constraints of my 'ailments'.

 

i also want my life to have more meaning~for so long i have let said 'ailments' rule my life, i have drifted with small bursts of trying to take my life back and it has never lasted. 

but now i have decided i need to

reclaim 'me'

and what i do while accepting i have long term chronic conditions that wont just go away with pain killers or doing nothing.

so i am going to do but more mindfully.

 

i am also going to set myself goals...my main goal is to eventually become my own source of income which would give me all kinds of freedom.

i know it will be hard going but seeing how many other folk gain so much joy from it despite hardships i feel it would be more worthwhile.

i don't particularly want millions or a mansion or fancy clothes (as if!) i just want enough to help with the bills etc and to buy more crafting materials to continue making my jewellery,bundles etc.

 

i think i am too much like my dad...

he, as most of you know, is an artist and model maker, and has always had this streak of the independent, a 'wunderlust' (my word that descibes a restlessness within the soul) within him that kept him restless and finally became such that he had to step away from the mainstream 9-5 to follow his dream.

 

that is me, it really is.

 

even if i had the health to do so, i could never return to the 9-5

i could never conform to an organisation that would insist that i could not be me, to remove my nose ring, hide my tattoo's, dress in a conservative way...

 

i am getting the jitters just thinking about it.

 

 

so my head is finally in a good place...

 

my head has returned to accepting that what i put into my body reflects what is on the outside resulting in a large amount of veggies bought for eating and juicing

 

to resume my yoga...even if i only do  a ten minute session a day as i have read it is very good for fibro even during a flare up.

 

to set time aside for 'most things' each day~to spend time 'working' at the wylde apothecary

 

to stop drifting in my spiritual journey

 

to enjoy my life and stop stressing about the things i cannot change but go with the flow~to trust in the universe that things will fall into place.

 

today is the first day...

 

 

so

 

deep breath

 

and

 

plunge