~my small life~ part one

i say part one because i am clock-watching and may not get time to finish all i have to say in my limited time this morning...

my small life...

i thought these words as i walked down the steep, narrow stairs from my kitchen, mug of tea in hand, still in pyjamas, wrapped in a yak wool shawl, birkenstocks keeping my feet off the chill of the floor.

it was 6am i was headed back to bed with my tea for a couple of hours before my day really begins.

as those words entered my mind i knew i had to blog those words and everything associated with them, so back in bed i turned my laptop on and opened blogger for the first time in a year.

my small life...

my life has changed so much, all in positive ways and i am incredibly happy. i still get the black dog lurking, i still get days where i wake with almost paralyzing anxiety, but i am happy and since moving into the cottage i am content.

what i realised yesterday while sitting in my garden with my habitual mug of tea, listening to the birds, watching Arthur stalk the grass, was that i am living my life, i am living my life exactly the way i want to live my life.

everything here is me, you will walk in and see me reflecting in everything you see...writing this i realise that i need photos to explain it better...but that will have to wait for now.

i am finally in what i actually call my dream home~i have lived in the new forest for my whole life and have ancestors in the north of the forest going back hundreds of years so i feel very connected to the land. i have my own garden and that dream woodburner and more  importantly i can have my home as i wish.

i know that sounds a bit crazy but after so many years with someone who became increasing more dictatorial its important to me and it wasn't something i felt i had over the last two years. i think it has taken me two years to get used to the idea that i can please myself, that i am living alone in my own home and don't have to seek approval for my choices. even choices in buying things.

my small life...

i can stack my books how i like on my three bookcases...no-one to tell me they are untidy

i can stay up beyond 9pm without an angry face asking why i am not asleep

i can  buy whatever i like without being told 'no we are broke' or 'you have to sell something to buy new shoes/bag'

i can wash up and leave my dishes in the drainer

i can listen to my music...loud

i can grow my garden as i want to and allow the 'weeds' to flourish...

on that note my clock is telling me its time to get dressed and drive my little car across the forest, so come back soon for part 2 

~post-gathering blues~

well i am back!

we actually came home last thursday but its taken me this time to unpack (there are still clothes in the camper!), sort out the garden...its looking overgrown and gorgeous!...and generally come down from the high i always get from being away with my Stonewylde Tribe.

we had a whole week away~some folk only stayed for a few nights, a small group of us stayed the whole week.

it was just wonderful~for a few days the weather was cloudy and decidedly chilly with rain one night, then on the monday the clouds cleared and it became blazing hot...by wednesday it was too hot to move and the temperature reached the 100's.

as usual i am~and i know others are~suffering the post gathering blues.

it feels weird to be living in a house, sleeping in a 'proper' bed and not having my tribe around me all of the time.

some of us have known each other from 2007/08 when the old stonewylde forum started up and since then we have grown into a small but perfect little community.

our very first little gathering, just for a day, was at avebury in 2009 and our first camp was in 2010 and its just snowballed.

last year because of the book launch we had two camps and we all wish we could have two every year.

of course as we are all scattered over the country we have small met-up's in our areas~in fact we are travelling up to conisbrough castle in august for the 'northern tarts' (tarts as in bakewell tarts~swampy and i come under the 'southern belles umbrella!)) picnic and in three weeks we are travelling up to yorkshire for the birthday party

 of our gorgeous faerieface.

anyway it was wonderful, we had a handfasting at the recumbent stone at avebury and of course a trip to glastonbury...

anyway enough words, have a look for yourself...

Pretty Pagans new interior~looking very cosy with the red curtains...

the 'solstice cafe'~swampy and i started this last year, providing water, kettle, teas and coffees to all of the group. this year people kindly added to the supplies and we bought the sign...

  i like shots like this~fist night camped up with willow, ian, kit and mr.b...

sujee and bilbo's beautiful bell tent...i still want one!...

mismi checking out the field...

we are so lucky to have some very talented musicians among our friends~bilbo and chappie with sujee looking on...

flynts friend isabeau...

good morning bilbo!...

on the morning of the handfasting swampy and i arrived in avebury early to make sure we could get a parking space in the shade as we would not leave mismi at the campsite.
we put the kettle on and was having breakfast (ahhh the beauty of a home on wheels) when this american lady, mary, approached asking what was in the cage and what we were doing there...its not often you see someone in medieval dress in a car park!
we explained the whole week and as it turns out is a tarot reader, reiki healer and crone priestess and i took her e-mail...well of course you would, wouldn't you?!....

as usual we had the use of the little village hall to take the weight off, enjoy cups of tea and wait for bilbo to lead us where the ceremony was to be held at the recumbent stone...

these were the people who slowly gathered to see why a huge group of gorgeously dressed people were gathering...

after the handfasting it was time to take photos~yours truly with jez, bilbo and kit...

the handfastee's with the quater callers~fliss, sujee, swampy and bilbo, tilli and chappie who performed the ceremony and kit who wrote the basis of the ceremony...

the recumbent stone...

a real camp fire...this year the new manager was a young chap who has taken over from his father and he allowed us to create a fire pit and even provided plenty of wood...

swampy and i took ourselves back to avebury on the monday...

this bell tent with its canopy belongs to seawitch who makes the most amazing soaps.

i have one of her new ones 'hippy daze' which is the most wonderful patchouli 'foam' soap which i now wash my hair with...

sunset was just behind us and glorious...

on tuesday we went into glastonbury to meet up with our friends crystal and the welsh wizard who had returned home on sunday.

we had left early because the olympic torch was going through glastonbury and we had hoped to park up before they closed the road.

no such luck.

after skirting the centre twice and getting stopped in a line of traffic to let the olympic buses through we took shelter in a super market carpark until the road was opened...

a froggy fayble in the window of 'lilith'...

this chap had set himself up selling the assorted bags, pouches and necklaces...

i admired the teeny pouch he was wearing around his neck and luckily for me he had a solitary one for sale...i am now wishing i had one of his necklaces too...

occupy glastonbury...

a sight that fills my heart...

mismi taking glastonbury in his stride...

on wednesday it was just too hot to move and i spent the day chasing the shade...

but the evening still became chilly and it was time to try the new incense i bought from star child...

this frog had made a cool, damp home under our awning...

our final 'brew' before making our way home...

when i see old sarum (remember my last ancestor post and the map?! see? i just imagine my pre-history ancestors here!) and the spire of salisbury catherdral i know we are not far from home...

 when we see the animals roaming free then we are home...

~of being sidetracked~

well what a surprise weather wise the free spirits camp was!

it was warm when we drove away from the forest.

we followed the motorway for a short while and skirted the sea port i was born in and where branches of my ancestor tree go way, way back to the time of Henry Vlll and beyond.

we crossed the great chalk hill that looks down over portsmouth and passed a little place called Butser where they have the most amazing ancient farm then onwards, skirting a place called Buriton where generations of my portsmouth ancestors and more recent family, my nan would take my mum, uncle and aunt each year and many residents of their road would go to pick hops each year

in fact my mum was talking fondly of their yearly 'holiday' last week.

they lived in a street of two up, two down terraced houses in an area developed right near the docks in 1796.

the whole street was made up of a true extended family-everyone living there was related.

this was part of the poorest part of the city and getting away each year, even if it was to work, really was a holiday...

Hop-picking usually took about three weeks around September. Local children were all expected to help and were given time off school. Casual labour, mostly from Portsmouth, was employed as well as local pickers. Many of the Portsmouth families came back year after year.

In the early years they used to be fetched in wagons from Petersfield Station: a wonderful sight as they all arrived. Some would camp opposite the Maple Inn (now the Master Robert) in Heather & Bakers field, lighting campfires at night. There were many tales of how the local gamekeepers were kept busy ! There were also reports of drunk and disorderly behaviour suggesting that much of the money that the pickers earnt was probably spent in the pub !

you can find more from this source here

finally we reached the field behind a pub that was the home for the dolmen gathering of free spirits...