~samhain blessings my lovlies~

So today is a time to visit with the ancestors, a time when the veil between the worlds is thin.

 

I took an early walk in the woods behind my tiny cottage to spend time with the ancestors of the land. I think the schools are no longer on half term but I didn't fancy hearing the distant shieking of children through the woods today. Instead I met wih a few locals, two walking their dogs and one man asking me if I had passed his pigs. Yes 'normal for the New Forest' as we are in pannage season, where the pigs are let out to enjoy the fall of acorns. This year the glut of acprns are so good pannage has been extended. I had met four pigs in the woods only a couple of minutes from the back of my cottage and so keen to film then doubled back to watch them and film them before they hurried off.

Later I have to go have my diabtetic eye screening but then I shall come back, light my wood burner, burn some Samhain incense from Star Child and spend some quite time alone. I still live alone-I am still with my North Star but still live alone by choice. My cottage is not large enough to house two people comforatbly and after six years together we know that we work best with time apart. We are people who need time alone and have our own routines, our own way of doing things and NS knows that I could never willinging give up my little cottage.

More than that I have found my true self over the past few years. When I found the courage to end my longterm relationship I thought I had found myself, but I hadn't and I realised a few years down the line that I was running the risk of putting myself into a similar situation if I wasn't very careful and asserted myself. I realised I had to put myself first and put down some clear boundaries because I found that I was turning into what I can only descibe as a 'Stepford Wife' and alarm bells were ringing, quite loudly. I felt as if I was just being used as a book, bottle washer, clothes washer, domestic and spent my time picking dirthy clothes up off the floor. My limit had been reached when I came home from camp in May and NS had looked after Cookie for the weekend-I came home to an unmade bed, dirthy clothes, dirty dishes and a line of dirty cat food bowls...that were my own bowls. I know, right?! I was beyond fuming but instead of an apology I had anger directed at me because I dared to be angry. 

Men huh?

Anyway, after a few difficult months our relationship is much stronger and we are much happier,  NS now understands that I am not here to be his Stepford Wife and I have learnt not to trampled all over but to stand up for myself more. I am a much stronger more assertive person now than I ever have been.

It feels right that I have found this balance right before Samhain and at the start of, for me and for many pagans, the cusp of the new year.

Hello Mel and Laura and thank you for your comments~ its lovely to come here and find familiar faces still here reading my words xx

~oh hey~

 oh hey!

its me again

are you still out there?

Well I am back, complete with my sometimes lack of upper case letters and rambling thoughts. 

I have spent an intense two years and an especially intense year completing my MA. I submitted my dissertation at the end of September and since then have been in some kind of half-shock, trying to return to some kind of normality and gain some structure to my life that did'nt involve study and deadlines. I promised myself several months of 'nothing'-literally nothing, just deep cleaning the cottage, catching up on sleep and reading and just 'being'. In the back of my mind is the possibility of doing my PhD but right now I am not sure I am brave enough to put myself through the intitial interview process...so that's kind of hanging in the air. However, I have been accepted as a volunteer onto a 9 month conservation project on old documents as part of Hampshire Archives which I hope may lead to bigger and better things.

I spent the weekend with the NorthStar in Glastonbury, catching up with my Tribe-although I didn't spend as much time with my Tribe as I had hoped. I have some ongoing health problems which meant by 1pm on Saturday my power had totally left me so I had to return to the camper and crash out with a cup of tea.

We went to Wells Cathederal to see Gaia

 

But it gave me time to start the all important re-charge of my spiritual batteries. I recently realised that I have spent the last 6 years in a frenzy of non-stop study and this has meant that everything else has fallen by the wayside, and a big part of that was my spiritual path. In six years everything had just drifted and the joyful path I was once on had grown over.

Now it feels as if I have been out, clearing the path, making the way clear. I have been working with The Wild Unknown Tarot for a few weeks, just a daily card to get me back into the swing of spiritual life, asking a question for guideance and its been super helpful. Another day I spent clearing, dusting and changing my altar space. Today, the dark/new moon I shall be putting out the crystals I keep in a pouch around my neck out to charge with fresh intent and start to build on my tarot reading.

I was up in the woods behind my cottage earlier, in need of some forest energy...

 

charged my moss agate...

things are definately looking up and I plan on regular blogging now I have the time and inclination.

Let me know if you are still out there, it would be nice to know if the old blogging community is still strong in the face of 'faceache'

*The Feminist Magic of the Older Witch*

The Feminist Magic of the Older Witch

hey!

 its me!

the some-time blogger!

i know i keep promising to return to my regular blogging but right now i am studying full time and by the time i pack away my books i am usually too tired to blog.

tonight however i am waiting for a 7.30pm tutor group forum to discuss our latest assignment and 

THIS...

(points excitedly to link 👆)

has been occupying my mind somewhat 

it has me thinking all kinds of things, things which of course lead me back to me and my path.

***

so where to start?

i guess it started with this article and also something a friend posted on their fb page, asking about if anyone had questioned their faith (regardless of what religion/path they followed).

i have posted before about the loss of my path, how there have been times that i have followed a winding, exploratory path before being drawn back to a fairly straight path.

lately...actually more than lately...my path seems to have vanished. for the final year of my BA(Hons) all i did was study, aided by the fact covid-19 had shut down my new place of work. 

i wouldn't say my path has vanished rather than actually morphed into something more akin to some wild, green...something.

while i am aware of the turning of the wheel, the changing of the seasons, the path of the moon its not...essential to me. 

i used to maintain an alter and while i still have it i don't constantly change it for festivals. its there more as a gentle reminder to me as it pass it multiple times each day. a reminder of the ancestors, of something 'other'

my type of magic/craft isn't the kind that can really be labeled any more.

does this sound familiar?